Wherever you go, there you are...

Does this statement resonate or mean anything to you?

Have you ever felt or thought that if you were able to just "get away" things would be better? That if everything around you was different then you would feel different? And in some respects you might be right.. and if you did change your environment (job, relationship, where you live etc.) you probably would experience some relief... for a time... and then you might find that the same feelings of discontent, anxiety, fear, questioning everything and so much more, would creep back in... And could you guess why that might be? Could you perhaps even slightly accept that the outer isn't the core problem? The outer isn't the root issue? Would that slight glimmer of perception be a bit triggering and even cause some defensiveness in you? If even a small part of that hits home, let me assure you I can completely and entirely relate to you and how you feel. I have had a very common pattern of "cut and run" when things just didn't seem to be good, settled or even began to show a tendency for any kind of chaos or challenge. It was easier to change my outer than stop, dig in and really discover what the root was. And don't mistake my words or meaning - this is NOT to say to stay in unhealthy or unsafe conditions or relationships - those are the types of outer challenges that must be dealt with by exiting or distancing. For the other though, there is a need to really assess what is MY part in this feeling. What do I continue to emotionally wear and bring that contributes to my unease, my discontent, my anxiety and my desire to escape? This is big work, and it means really being able to accept parts of yourself that you may feel very uncomfortable with. And yet, to really look in and at the shadow parts, to accept the discomfort as a means to relief and acceptance and peace. To give yourself kindness and grace while you open the windows and let the light and the fresh air of knowledge, understanding and love in... then perhaps just a small "pocket of peace" will lend itself to being ok where you are for a minute. It may lend itself to a greater understanding of Self and what makes you tick, what really matters, and meeting those inner shadows head on with an outstretched hand of welcome and compassion, may just be the start of some beautiful healing.

You may still end up leaving that job, or finding that new neighbourhood, or striking out strong and solo. And if you do make a move from a more informed and strengthened place of inner understanding and acceptance - then THAT is the best way to look inside and say - there I am, right where I need to be and yes, wherever I go , there I am.